As Christmas gets closer the Rattle and Tie household has been suffering from colds the past week. Dress and I can’t work out how we have got these as neither of us are at work, so there isn’t the usual germs of the great unwashed, public transport or an office that we would we normally be exposed to at this time of year!
Unfortunately this means little Rattle at 11 weeks old has caught her first cold and has been coughing and spluttering the last few days. A visit to the doctor resulted in this being nothing more than a common cold, however seeing your baby struggling with a snotty nose and coughing has been fairly distressing for us both. I am sure there could be a lot worse to see your child go through, but seeing her struggle with breathing and having little coughing fits has not been pleasant at all. Administering Calpol has been particularly difficult. I remember the only good thing about being ill, was being given the sugary goodness of medicine. I had assumed that Rattle would respond in a similar way and lap up the cough syrup but oh no. With syringe locked and loaded with 2.5ml of a light pink syrup, which reminded me of the energetic slime in Ghostbusters 2 – the one that got the Statue of Liberty to walk up Manhattan avenues – what
followed was an odd game of pin the tail on the donkey, where the donkey moves about A LOT and has massive rage every time the tail is anywhere near it. More misery for all of us and more fuel to my reasoning of just having her wrapped in cotton wool all the time. She’s now under house guard until the age of 30!
The colds have meant a bit more time indoors than usual over the last week, which has resulted in entertaining Rattle a lot with her toys. I have actually looked at her toys a bit more closely than I otherwise do and noticed how odd some of them look. I am not sure of the types of individuals who design these, however I think some of them secretly try to give their toy creations alter egos.
Bumble Bee aka Mr Buzzed Up
This guy appears friendly enough. You would think he spends his days flying around fields looking for pollen and taking it back to the hive for honey, but looking at the glazed over eyes and wide vacant smile, I would say this guy has been on the wacky pollen. The fields this guy was buzzing were probably in Woodstock. Plus those glowing ears are only ever worn by people at a dance music festival.
Pink Rabbit aka Miss Killer Bunny
If there was a film titled ‘Killer Bunnies in Nappy Valley’ this little weirdo would be the star. Dress put this in the ‘Not for Lily’ pile this week. When I took a closer look I could see why. This bunny might look innocent enough, but if you stare long enough there is an odd gaze this little fluff bucket has that suggests sinister motives.
Before Christmas weekend rolls in and both families descend on our house in Nappy Valley, we decided to go to our first Parent and Baby screening at the excellent Clapham Picture House to see Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (One word review: Super). Dress had trepidation in going to a baby screening, thinking that it would be full of screaming babies – the Picture House actually call the showing ‘The Big Scream’. This couldn’t have been further from the experience. First there was coffee and brioche buns on the house (yes…brioche….it is London…get over it) and an empty cinema screen that doubled as a buggy park. There may have well been parallel white lines on the ground the way all of them were parked up looking exactly like a supermarket car park – minus the douche in the <insert wanky car brand here> who parks across two spots. You know who you are.
Maybe being Christmas week the showing was not that busy – I heard from our NCT friends that Bridget Jones’ Baby was sold out…unsurprising – this meant ample space for all of Rattle’s luggage. It was amusing seeing quite a few couples at the showing (with small humans obviously) with the Dads looking like a mule about to crumble under the heavy load of nappy bags, jackets, toys, coffees and brioche. Dress particularly enjoyed being able to get her boobs out to feed without the need for a cover and when Rattle’s bum thunder (inevitably) came at the opening credits, she could just plonk the changing mat in the aisle to change her without anyone batting an eyelid. I am grateful in having a baby girl that she pee’s like a crappy public park fountain…directly up in the air a short distance. It occurred to me afterwards, had I sat on the aisle and someone changed their baby boy near me, I would have likely batted my eyelids at pee randomly flying in my direction! I looked around at one point to see mums popping up from their seats every now and again to settle grumpy babies. If I was the projectionist this would have looked like a game of whack-a-mole. Parent and Baby showings are an excellent way for parents and mums in particular to still do some of the more normal things in life before the small humans turned up attempting to make socialising extinct from parent’s lives.
The the week ended with a short round of golf with a NCT friend…let’s call him Mr Toast. This has pretty much nothing to do with parenting, but we both had a pleasant afternoon away for a few hours at the super Dukes Meadow course in Central London. Unfortunately, I lost (not entirely sure how)…a rematch is certainly on the horizon!
Hope you all have a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. See you on the other side, where I will be less than a week away from going back to work and leaving the life of Riley.
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